Seriously, what’s your damage? You nasty countertops have been lazin' in this house since I was elected president in our 6th grade government simulation and subsequently chose my closest competitor as Secretary of State. (Blog readers - you may henceforth refer to me as Amydamas.)
Too bad my visionary skills did not extend to predicting and preventing the cheap skank version of laminate veneer “Lee and Jessica” would choose at that same exact time. “Lee and Jessica” – you are lucky you did not write your last name in the driveway concrete, or else I would have no choice but to google you and send you snarky passive-aggressive notes about the collective brain power you must possess in order to choose WHITE laminate.
But back to Counters - at first I just disliked you mildly. The nice blue color of the walls kinda made me upbeat about the general kitchen area. But you know, I’ve been in this piece for 7 years now and I gotta say looking at your stained, chipped, funky self makes me feel nauseous. You are the crack ho of countertops, and you’re beyond intervention.
I'm leaving you for Granite.
Shazammmmm!
(umm yeh still gotta paint the walls but LOOOOK at the COUNTERS!!!)
1 comment:
you are so funny. our house had YELLOW formica countertops when we moved in. They had to replaced immediately.
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